An Update...

I had an ultrasound yesterday and they saw one gestational sac. I'm kind of relieved that there's only one little bean in there. And he is apparently a strong little booger because yesterday and today no matter what I tried, I couldn't get ahead of the morning sickness. Today I texted hubby and he brought me in bread before I ever got out of bed. I sat up to eat and felt even more queasy and a little light headed. I keep reminding myself it's not as bad as my first pregnancy where I couldn't keep anything down for more than 10 minutes...and I ended up passing out a few times...then in the hospital on an IV drip to rehydrate me. I won't let it get that bad. I'm doing good though. I have only emptied my stomach once today, which isn't bad considering I've wanted to rid it of its contents several times. Hard candies and root beer are my friends!

I've also been having horrible night sweats with this pregnancy. I'm assuming it's the meds. I have at least another 5 weeks or so of meds. Possibly more because my calendar only goes until the end of January...I'm hoping that's because they're stopping meds then. The thing that bothers me is that if that's when I stop meds, I hope they're not having me stop cold turkey. They're not weaning me off of anything. Everytime they change my meds it's a "ok stop meds" not a gradual weaning off them like I had before. So much of this protocol is different!

But I digress...

The night sweats are so bad that I literally wake up on a soaked bed, in soaked PJs, with a soaked sheet and blanket. Then, when I try to get them to dry out so I can go back to sleep, I end up freezing! But I can't crawl back under the sheets, cause I'm burning up...plus they smell! Thank goodness my husband works third shift and doesn't have to deal with this! I wake every night between 4am and 430am and do everything I can to fall back asleep...then when I wake in the morning, I shower, Fabreze the bed, and put on new sheets. (And of course wash the previous night's sheets to prepare for the next morning.) Hopefully when the meds stop, the night sweats stop.

And my sense of smell is incredible! I got into the car yesterday morning and could smell grease and smoke. I texted my husband and asked him who he had in the car the night before. (He usually rides his motorcycle, but took the van because it was raining and below 30 degrees.) He says he had his friend, and asked why. I told him what I smelled and he said that he was a smoker, but he didn't let him smoke in the van...and that they went to get burritos, which accounted for the greasy smell. It was bad. I had to roll the windows down in order to air out the van...but no one else could smell anything!

Other than that, not much is happening. I have another ultrasound on January 6th to check for the heartbeat. I can't wait till we see his heartbeat and we know that he's all safe and snuggled in there for the long haul.

T is thrilled. She even started researching cribs. I'm so glad this has finally happened for her and M!

Morning Sickness....

So I had pretty bad morning sickness with my other pregnancies, and this one started out just like all the others. I tried every home/herbal remedy I could think of to no avail...then I tried something crazy: I ate regularly, regardless of the queasiness in my stomach.

The first day was hard. I woke up feeling sick, but I had some crackers and a root beer. (Root beer seems to help settle my stomach this time around.) I waited about 45 minutes and had some toast. Then about two hours later I had a protein smoothie. And the day progressed with me eating a snack, or a meal every two hours or so until bedtime. I felt sick the whole day!

The next day I woke, not quite so sick. I ate crackers before I ever got out of bed, and then drank my root beer. about 20 minutes later (because I was starving!) I had some juice, eggs (w/ salsa!) and bacon. I continued every 2 hours eating something until bedtime...and I had one bout of nausea all day.

And every day since then? No morning sickness. It's been great! I feel a little nauseous right now, but that's because I ate too much at dinner. (The babies apparently really, really like pork tenderloin...because I rarely if ever ate it before, and I had 4 servings tonight. I feel like a pig and should have stopped after the second but I couldn't help it!)

So Wednesday is the ultrasound. We finally get to see how many little beans are in there. I still maintain that there are two in there...either that, or this is so different because I'm pregnant within 7 months of giving birth to the last little surrobean. Either way, I'm pregnant and I'm so thrilled for T and M!

I've been trying so hard not to compare T and my first IM, G, but some days are harder than others. Like just before Christmas I needed to know how my calendar was changing. This clinic only gives me my calendar in little chunks. (I think it's so they can surprise me and it doesn't seem so overwhelming, but seriously, it just annoys the hell out of me!) Well, my calendar was ending and no one had given me a new one. I emailed the nurse coordinator and told her I needed a new calendar because I had no idea what I was doing the next day. I also emailed T and told her I had no idea what I was doing, and I also needed to know if I needed to order new meds, and which meds I still needed. Well, T was all over the clinic like white on rice! She handled business! The next morning I had my new calendar, my test results and I even had the old nurse coordinator (who is on maternity leave) email me and tell me that if I needed a prescription for Zofran for the morning sickness she would get me one! Go T!!

G on the other, when we had a similar issue after the hurricane, let me deal with it all and just kind of sat back and watched.

So yeah, T is way better at this, and totally tries to take the stress off of me as much as possible...and I totally love her for it!

Second Beta Results!

I just got our second beta results!

*drum roll*

636

I have my first ultrasound on the 30th, and the second on January 6th. At the point we'll know for sure how many.

I'm thinking twins, but that's because of the horrible morning sickness!

Speaking of which...last night I was giving myself my shot and I started dry heaving. It was horrible. I have a huge knot there now, and some serious bruising. It's ok though, because there is at least one beautiful little boy in there who needs me to stay strong and keep on keeping on so he can survive. And that, coupled with the excitement in T's voice whenever she talks about her son, makes it all worth it.

Have a great holiday season all! Keep believing in Christmas Miracles.

Second Beta!

I went and had blood drawn this morning for my second beta test. I'm kinda curious to see what this one is going to be. I thought since Friday, December 11th, that I was having multiples. I had never had such a reaction to pregnancy. I felt nauseous on the way home from Dallas the next day. I was extremely exhausted within two days. (Not all the time mind you, but there were times during the day when I got really tired.)

Hubby and I tried to chalk it up to the fact that my protocol was different this time around so I was reacting differently to the meds. Then I got the first positive at 4.5dp5dt (or 9.5dpo). Most women don't get positives that early. Hell, I've never gotten a positive that early.

Anyway, that's when I began to really wonder what was up. Then Monday's beta number came in at 304 and I got a little nervous. We'll see after today's though. I'm not going to jump to any conclusions until we have today's number. Well, that and the ultrasound.

So that's where we are right now. I'll post later today or tomorrow morning and let you know what the second number is!

The First Beta is in....

*Drum Roll Please*

The first number is....304!

Can you believe it? I nearly passed out when I saw it was that high. My head is still spinning! I can't believe it! I called T and left her a voice mail. She doesn't know the number yet though. I can't wait to hear her reaction. I wonder if she'll say the same thing did? ("Holy shit"...and it was just like that, deadpan)

Well, my second test is tomorrow and we'll see where we go from there!

Beta Testing...

I went this morning and had my beta test run. Now I'm just sitting here waiting for the test results. I'm so impatient! I emailed T and let her know that it was done and if she hears the results first to call me.

I feel guilty cause I haven't called her in the last day or two. I've been so busy trying to finish things up before Christmas, and then I get tired and nap. Add to that the morning sickness that has absolutely no rhyme or reason to it's comings and goings and life got really crazy, really quick. But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. The morning sickness is a (albeit annoying) reminder that there is a little bean growing inside me. I'll survive the weeks of tiredness and morning sickness to see the look on T and M's faces when they see their son for the first time.

On a related note, I got a card from G with a picture of the kids. The baby is getting so big! It's crazy how big he is! His brother and sister are getting really big too. I remember when his sister when we first met and she wasn't even in school yet! Now she's a kindergartner! Boy how time flies...

...now if only it would stop crawling today and I would get my beta numbers!

Anyone wanna take a guess at what they'll be? Today I am 11dp5dt. I started getting positive results almost a full week ago at 4.5dp5dt. What do you think?

Bleh...

Ok, so over the past five days (yep, five days now...) I've been feeling nauseous in the evenings. Well, I woke up this morning and was feeling a bit off. I ate some toast...then I had a couple of crackers...then I promptly got sick. It looks like this is going to be a pregnancy where the first trimester is marked by morning sickness. It's ok though because every time I talk with T, the excitement in her voice makes the morning sickness seem not so bad.

I hadn't planned on telling anyone really (with the exception of a few people who have been praying for us) until we were out of the first trimester. Yesterday I was at the school and one of the teachers that I'm good friends with asked me how I was feeling. I told her I was doing well, just tired. She responded with "When you're pregnant, you need to rest more." I just looked at her and she started laughing. She said that was all the confirmation she needed...then she asked who the lucky family was. It's so nice to know that I have support from my friends!

I did ask her though why she thought I was pregnant. She said that I was starting to show (I'm just bloated from the meds), and that I had been really tired and nauseous over the past week. Even when we did the teacher appreciation dinner (to which I'm invited nearly every year because of my involvement in the school) I barely ate. Guess I'm not hiding it as well as I thought, lol!

Oh well. Go M.A.D!

I gave in...

...and I tested on Tuesday morning. I know, I know. I waited two whole days to post! It's ok though. I had to wait for my IPs to get the news...they did, after all, have a bigger stake in this than anyone else, hehe.

So here it is. Tuesday morning I woke up and tested. I looked at the test and thought I saw a faint line but I was so afraid to get my hopes up. My husband though came in and saw it and said yes, it is in fact positive!

(I've added a second picture of the original inverted so you can better see the positive line.)

So I waited and tested several hours later and the line was about the same. I don't have a good picture of that one, but anyway...

So yesterday morning I woke up and tested again. I had to have a good picture to share with T, M and C. I went into the bathroom, peed in a cup and ran two tests simultaneously. I took a cheap Equate (I say cheap, it's cheaper than the name brands...but certainly not inexpensive...holy crap those things are expensive!) and then I took an Early Response. Both have blue dye.

Both showed a positive immediately! All the tests are still kind of faint, but it's enough to definitively say that I'M PREGNANT! I'm so excited for T and M!

It was all I could over the past two days to keep my mouth shut! I sent a balloon bouquet to T and M that was all blue and said Congrats and Baby Boy and that kind of thing. Poor C (she's 20) answered the door when it arrived and the delivery guy told her congrats...I can't help but laugh because T and M (and C) knew that some people would just assume that it was C who was pregnant/had a baby, but no one expected it to start so soon! I digress. The balloons hadn't arrived yet and I set T an email letting her know she had a special delivery on the way....and then I waited...and waited...and then T called. The balloons hadn't arrived yet, but she wanted to know how I was doing. I nearly burst out of my skin I was trying so hard to keep quiet!

We tried to make small talk. I found out a few minutes later that she was trying not ask me if I had tested and was trying just as hard as I was to not tell her that her Christmas Miracle had arrived! She kind of asked if I had tested and I told her flat out that if she asks me directly if I tested, I won't lie, but I'm not going to volunteer the information. She flat out asked and I think I may have actually yelled that it was positive! Poor T must have thought I was crazy, lol!

I called Dr. Saleh's office to see about getting an early BETA test, but they said no. They want my first test to be over a certain number and so they only test on the 10th (or greater) day. Monday will be 11dp5dt. I'm curious as to how high my BETA number is going to be. This time around I'll get the numbers! (We're not in hurricane season, and even if we were, Dallas is so far from the coast that if a hurricane did hit, they would only get a little rain.)

T and I must have talked for at least 2 or so hours yesterday. I think she is the perfect IM! I love talking to her. I'm honestly not much of a phone person, but I could talk to her for hours. Last night we talked about everything! I caught her up on all the symptoms I've been having, which, by the way, started on Friday...kinda makes you wonder if both took? We talked about the transfer, and baby names, and my new puppy. (I just got a German Shepherd puppy and she has a German Shepherd.) We talked about M and how excited he would be when he got home from work and saw the balloons and heard the news. We talked about C and what a good kid (ok...she's an adult) she is. I just think T is amazing and I'm so proud to be able to help her.

Ok, I'm uber-hormonal. I had to take a break from that last paragraph. I started crying. I'm going to take off for now. Perhaps later this afternoon I'll make another post to list all the symptoms I've been having. Then I'll ask what ya'll think my BETA numbers are going to look like.

Go M.A.D!

(Go Make A Difference!)

To POAS or not to POAS

So I woke up this morning, and for the first time since the transfer I just had to pee on a stick (POAS)! I went looking through the medicine cabinet because I thought I had one test left over from the last surrogacy, but I actually didn't. I know it's probably still too early to test, and it probably would have come back negative...but seriously, I just had to test!

You know it's funny actually. Only women who are TTC, whether for themselves or for others, are in an elite group of people who can get away with being obsessed about peeing on something regularly.

Well, this morning I am 3.5dp5dt. This afternoon I'll be a full 4dp5dt...which if I remember correct is 9dpo. 10dpo is the soonest you can test and expect good results (usually). That means tomorrow afternoon I could test. Then again it's best to use FMU (first morning urine) so it would be Wednesday morning. let's see if I can actually hold out that long!

Beyond that, not much is going on. Just taking it easy now that the semester is over. I've been super exhausted the past day or two, so Kenny's been letting me sleep as much as possible. He goes back to work on Tuesday night. He's been off since last week so I could go to Houston for the transfer.

I'll probably run out today and buy a few tests. I don't think I can wait much longer to pee something.

Let the wait begin!

I am so excited to make this blog entry!

Wednesday I left home and drove to Dallas so we could transfer on Thursday afternoon. I was about halfway up there when my phone rang. It was T. We were awaiting the results of the PGD testing, and I figured that's why she was calling. Well, I was in a construction zone, and I wasn't going to answer...

10 minutes later I was able to listen to the message she left. I had to listen to it twice. T's voice was so calm and even that I wasn't sure I heard her right. The PGD test results were in. All the embryos were surviving. One had a chromosomal abnormality (XXY, Klinefelter's), but the other 5 were perfect...and they were all boys!

I was dumbfounded!

T and M had waited for so long to get to this point. We were afraid with the low number of eggs retrieved that they wouldn't get their baby boy this time around. But instead, all they got were boys!

So Thursday rolls around. I wake up in the morning, go and get a nice healthy breakfast and sit in the hotel room watching TV until my 3pm appointment. Around 1230 I decide I can't wait any longer or else I"m going to go stir crazy. So I go to the hospital. (Dr. Saleh's office, SIRM, is in a huge medical facility/hospital.) I find a little cafe and get something to eat. I sit outside in the atrium and as slowly as I can muster eat my turkey panini, chips and drink my water. I managed to last until 215pm. I decide at that point that maybe I should go up a little early to see if there is any paperwork I need to sign or anything like that.

I got upstairs, signed in, and within 5 minutes they took me back. I was put in a gown, and taken into the transfer room. I climbed up on the table (which BTW, had a nice foam pad on it to cushion me...instead of the typical hard exam table...Thank you, Dr. Saleh!) and they strapped my legs down in the stirrups.

The doctor came in and they found my uterus via ultrasound and decided where to place the little guys. Then the embryologist came in with the two embryos they decided to transfer. They verified my name, and T and M's names, and inserted the catheter. After waiting for one minutes, they removed the catheter, and the embryologist took it to the next room to examine it under the microscope to be sure the embryos did in fact transfer and didn't get stuck. Sure enough, they were in there! I got to see the pictures of them, and they were hatching already. They're are the most beautiful little embryos I have ever seen. (Ok, I might be a bit biased!)

They wheeled me out into the "holding" area and had me lie on my back for 35 minutes...then I was free to go on a "modified" bed rest. I was allowed to get up for a quick bite, a quick shower (no more then 10 minutes), and then back to bed. I was told to "veg out" or "be a couch potato" for the next 24 hours.

So I went back to the hotel room and just lounged around watching TV. I came home on Friday afternoon.

And now we wait.

For the past two days I've woken up between 2am and 230am to go to the bathroom and then haven't been able to get back to sleep. Last night, instead of tossing and turning and risking waking Kenny, I decided to get up and do something productive. So I went grocery shopping and got all the ingredients for a huge breakfast/brunch for the family. I'm doing a french toast bake, sausage and cheese stuffed croissants, bacon and eggs and a fruit smoothie. (Mine with soy protein!) I've also done the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. If you were to walk in there right now, you'd have no clue I went to the store, let alone already prepped this huge breakfast. Now I'm just waiting until about 645 or so to start baking.

While I was at the store getting groceries, I had to resist the urge to by pregnancy tests. I know if they're in the house this early, I'm going to want to use them this early. Kenny told me he doesn't want me testing until next week. (Sunday is technically next week, right? ;) ) He knows how bad and guilty I felt last time I tested early and kept getting negatives. He doesn't want me to torture myself like that again. He wants me to remain as mellow as possible. He's too precious!

Oh! So last night I had to give myself the dual shots. Both went in, and off, without a hitch. In fact, my hips barely hurt today. Not sure what's up with this, but considering I have less than two weeks on the shots now, I'm thrilled! I started a suppository last night, which needs to be refrigerated. I'll leave you to your own devices about how wonderful that feels! Actually, I have an applicator to insert them this time, so it's not nearly as bad as the last suppositories that I had to put in "manually".

Well, I believe you are now up to date. I have two beautiful pictures of the embryos and with T's permission I'll post them later.

Go M.A.D!

Wowza!

Ok, so not a whole lot has happened...but what has happened is BIG! I mean HUGE!

T got the baby's first report card (I blatantly stole that from her...too cute!). All 7 embabies fertilized and are thriving! There are two Grade 1 and five Grade 2, so they're all great quality! By the time I get there tomorrow we should have at least one precious baby boy to transfer!

And then...to make things even better...I had to do the double shots last night. The E2V (estrogen) and the progesterone shot. Well, hubby gave me the one (ok, he didn't stick me, but he pushed the medicine in) and then I gave myself the other. I rolled over onto the heating pad, and fell asleep. I slept all through the night (which is huge unto itself cause I haven't been sleeping well). When I woke this morning, my hip barely ached! I'm feeling great this morning!

I leave this afternoon to go to Dallas for tomorrow's transfer! I would leave earlier, but I have one last class to make an appearance at...kick boxing. I just need to drop off my food journal and exercise log and then I'm out of there! I figure I'll be on the road by 1pm. I'll get to the hotel, get checked in, eat some dinner, and get a good night's rest. Then tomorrow I get pregnant!

I'll write more tomorrow after the transfer! Have a great day!

*Go M.A.D!*
(Go Make A Difference!)

"Knot" Today

Well, last night's shot went pretty well. I gave myself the shot in the right hip again. I did the right hip two days in a row so that tonight I can do the left hip, and then on Tuesday when I have to do the double shots, I'll do the right hip again. I'm hoping that by giving myself a day off before I have to do the double shot will help some. I'm considering doing the shot on Tuesday and splitting hips...meaning I'll do one in each hip. I'm not sure though.

So I've been sitting on a heating pad shifting my weight and trying to get the knots to loosen up some. I'm not visibly bruised, so that's a good thing. It doesn't mean I'm not hurting though. You can feel so gnarly little knots in there. God love my husband though! Last night he stood beside the bed and rubbed my leg as I gave myself the shot. The night before he actually injected the medicine for me. He hates the shots and he doesn't have to have them! I really appreciate the fact that he's there for me though. I can't imagine not having such an awesome support system!

And then there is my IM, T. I adore her. Seriously, she is the best. Don't get me wrong, G was a great IM and I love her too, but T...T has embraced this whole experience in ways I didn't expect her to. For instance, G attempted to induce lactation after my midwife and I talked to her about it. T on the other hand approached me about it! I totally didn't expect that, and I love it! I had one friend ask me how I felt about watching another woman breastfeed the baby I had just delivered. I told them it was her child, so her feeding the baby is different from me. She's bonding with the baby in a very intimate manner. I, on the other, was just feeding the baby, and, on a more selfish level, was trying to lose weight and make myself more comfortable!

I just love the fact that T is so willing to embrace every moment of this crazy journey we call surrogacy. It's awesome!

Well, I just got an email from my widwife, Sam. She's going to take me on again. She left the birth center I delivered my other surroson at and is now with another birth center. I just hope that my insurance will cover most of it, or that we can work something out so I can deliver with her. That's one thing that made me sad about my last delivery. I wanted to have her there with me, but she wasn't on call, so I had another midwife there. Don't get me wrong, it was still a beautiful birth and one I'll cherish forever (especially considering my husband was an AWESOME doula!)...but I think it would have been even better with Sam. I told my hubby today that if my insurance won't cover it, in order to save some money (and not have to drive as far while I'm in labor), plus for comfort levels I'd consider a home birth. I am only 10 minutes from the new hospital. They have a huge birthing facility and would be able to take me if an emergency arose...it does make me nervous though. It would be something I'd have to research before I really considered it.

So, we're just waiting for the fertility report. So far we know that 7 eggs fertilized and they look good. Now we're just waiting for a few tests to be run. Thursday is the big day! Keep praying that the little man keeps growing and is as ready for me as I am for him!

I'm back at it!

Well, I had considered waiting for another week to post, but I decided not to wait.

I have matched with a new couple! Not only have I matched, but I'm on meds, and we transfer on Thursday! I'm so excited!

T and M are wonderful. They've been together for many years, and have a beautiful 19 year old daughter, C. T is unable to carry another child due to a medical condition. M is a civilian working for the Air Force, and T is a stay at home mom.

So here's where things stand as of right now. Their RE, Dr. Saleh, has me on dexamethsone (a steriod), azithromycin (an antibiotic), Estradiol and progestrone. The Estradiol this time around is intramuscular injections in the hip, twice a week. I have to give myself the shots on Tuesdays and Fridays. The progesterone shots are daily. On Tuesdays and Fridays I have to give myself two different hip shots.

Last night was the first night for the two shots, and boy did it hurt! I'm having trouble sitting today. I'm not bruised, at least not visibly, but you can feel the knot on my hip...and by hip, you'll remember I mean ass. Ahh the joys of surrogacy!

I keep reminding myself how wonderful it will be when I see T hold her child for the first time. That's what makes these moments totally worthwhile.

Well, I'll update this blog regularly now that I'm matched and cycling again. I can't wait until I'm able to post my BFP! Thursday is the transfer day...so until then! Adieu!