Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Superwoman falls...

So here I am today, the day before I turn...old. (Nope, you're not getting my age...although I feel old, I'm still young at heart and I'll be young at heart until the day I die!) I decided that because I didn't have a baby to take care of slept pretty well last night, that I could do some running today without any issues.

Boy was I wrong!

I woke up at 545am plugged in my curling iron, and while it heated up, searched the bedroom for my "fat" jeans. I was a size 8-10 the day we transferred those three little embryos all those months ago. I figured the day after I delivered the gorgeous little bean that came from that batch, I should at least try to fit into my size 12s. (Never mind the fact that I still have the pregnancy "pooch" and have only lost about 22lbs since yesterday morning...which by the way caused my Wii Fit to freak out! That's a different story though.)

So I find my size 12s, grab a black tank top and my Victoria's Secret bra. I go into the bathroom with every intention of doing my hair, my makeup, and getting myself looking like Mrs. San Antonio again. After all, a pageant queen can't be seen looking all tired and worn out! (LOL) I put on my Baboosh Baby Taut. Oh yeah, I'm already looking a little thinner! I hoist the girls into my VS bra. I'm doing good. I put on my tank and smooth it down. Holy crap! You can hardly tell I was pregnant this time yesterday! (I'm sure the paleness in my face says otherwise, but we'll deal with that later!) Now comes the fun...my jeans. I go out and sit at the edge of bed knowing full well with the way my hips feel, I can't do this standing up. I put my legs in, stand up, and say a little prayer. The jeans slid right up over my thighs. The jeans gods are smiling down on me. Now for my hips. I remind myself that if I can't get them up, it's not my fault. I just delivered a 9lb baby less then 24 hours ago. I take a deep breath and pull one final time. And they came up over my hips! WOAH! Ok, ok. Let's not get too excited. I still have to button them. At this point, I'm fully prepared to lay on the bed, hold my breath, wiggle, squirm and use tools to get the zipper up if need be.

I take my final breath before attempting to button and zip my jeans. I close my eyes and bring the button to the hole...and it goes through with relative ease. I keep my eyes squeezed shut as I begin to zip them up...when suddenly I realize the zipper won't go up any further...because it's at the top! I'm in a size 12!!! WOOHOO!

It's at this point I begin to realize I'm getting tired. I unplug the curling iron. I had a shower the night before and my hair had a slight curl, with a wild hair here or there. So I just pulled the top part back and brushed it under. Viola! I decided to forgo the makeup. Hey, I got into my jeans. That's a huge accomplishment, right?

So we take the kids to school and drop them off. One of the teachers waved at me, and we stopped to say a quick hi. He realized I wasn't pregnant and asked for some details. I proudly told him "Yesterday morning! He was just over 9lbs!" He gave me a hug through window and said he was proud of me.

Hubby and I decided to get breakfast. I decided I was feeling well enough to be seen so I wanted to go to my new favorite breakfast spot, The Egg & I.

This is where Superwoman begins to realize she's not impervious to everything.

We get there and are seated. The benches are hard wooden benches. I can do this. We order...and I'm doing well. I get halfway through breakfast and realize the wooden benches aren't the greatest thing to sit on the day after giving birth. I'm tough though. I can do this.

We leave breakfast and go get coffee from Starbucks. I get my typical Soy Latte, but this time it's not decaf! MMM, caffeine! We then run to Walgreens because I need a few personal items. (I'll spare you the details!)

As we pull into Walgreens, we hit a little pot hole. My hip begins aching and I feel a slight burn down below. I take a deep breath. I'm Superwoman. I'm Superwoman. "Even when I'm a mess, I still put on the vest, with an S on my chest, Oh yes, I'm a Superwoman." We park. Hubby helps me out of the van and reminds me to breath. Do I look like I'm in that much pain?

I'm a Superwoman.

I walk into Walgreens. Ok, at this point, I'm not walking...I'm kind of shuffling. Each step becoming more painful then the next. Halfway through our little shopping trip, it becomes painfully (and I mean PAINFULLY) obvious that I have bitten off more then I can chew. I might have been able to fit into my jeans...but I wasn't quite big enough for my britches.

I manage to get back into the van and we head home. As soon as we get through the door, my jeans came off and sweats went on. I laid down in bed intending to rest for a few minutes. That was around 930am. I woke up at noon and was hungry. I was also hurting pretty bad. I realized that I had over done it.

I think tomorrow Superwoman is going to sit around the house with her feet up. The most walking she'll do is from the fridge to the couch, and the couch to the bathroom.

Monday, May 25, 2009

I have delivered a healthy baby boy!

This has been an amazing day!

I woke up this morning at 250am to a contraction. This contraction was much like all the other contractions I've had over the past few days. I got up, walked to the bathroom and found blood. I was shocked. I had two more contractions in the ten minutes I was in the bathroom.

DH was switching his schedule back to his work schedule (he works third shift), so he had just gotten up. I walked into the livingroom and told him I wasn't sure exactly, but he might want to let the guys at work know that he may not be in tonight. He told me he'd wait just a bit to find out if things fizzled. I told him I was going to lay down.

But I couldn't get comfortable in bed at all! So I put the birthing ball at the end of the bed, leaned on the bed, and tried to fall back asleep. I had my laptop to time contractions "just in case". After 45 minutes of contractions getting stronger, and closer together, I told hubby it was time to call the midwives. I called and she asked to meet me at the birth center in 45 minutes. This gave me 15 minutes to get things in the car, get someone to watch the kids, and then the 30 minute ride. I then called G & K and let them know what was going on.

This is where the fun began!

The person who was supposed to watch my kids was unavailable. We tried a few other friends, none of which answered the phone. I absolutely did not want the children there. My children are sensitive, and I was afraid I would scare them if I screamed. (Now that I think about it, this would have been a good time to talk with the older three about the dangers of sex! I missed a learning opportunity...oh well! ) Because of the age of our children, DH decided they could stay alone. (We came back to a slightly cleaner house, and no one needed stitches...I'm impressed!)

We left for the birthing center. My contractions were 3 minutes apart. By the time we got there, they were 2 minutes apart. They checked me and said I was about 95% effaced...she said that she would have said 100% but you're never 100% so I was close enough. The baby was at 0 station. I told her I was shooting for a 5 or 6 dilation. I was a good 5 quickly heading to a 6.

I went to the bathroom again (the toilet was so comfortable to sit on!) and waited for the tub fill up. I decided shortly thereafter to get in the shower and wait. I kept asking DH if my IPs were there yet. In the shower, I began to feel the urge to push, but tried hard to ignore it. My IPs weren't there yet! I was getting out of the shower because I had to pee again. I made it to the toilet, and one of the midwives told DH that my IPs were there. I don't think I even said anything when my water broke and I announced that it was time to push.

I heard my IPs state of shock. It had been just over an hour since I called them to let them know I was in labor...and here I was ready to push.


I refused to leave the toilet. They had the birthing stool ready and I knew that if I delivered there G (my IM) could deliver her son. I also knew I could not deliver on the toilet. DH got rough with me. He took my arm, and told me to get up...it was the time I had waited for. Instinctively, I did what he told me to. When he had told me to relax, it helped with contractions. When he told me to try to move positions, it helped. This was only going to help me too.

I got to the birthing stool (sort of in shock that I was wanting to push already) and sat down. I pushed for what seemed like minutes. I was told it was about 15 minutes because I would rest and wasn't pushing as hard as I could. (I don't think I was as comfy as I thought I would be!) I pushed the baby's head out and felt so much better! I went to rest before pushing his body out, and realized something didn't feel right. I had some pain about an hour earlier on my right side just over my placenta. My midwife told me to push. For the first time, she got forceful and told me to push harder. At this point, hubby leaned into my ear (which he had done several time before) and told me that I needed to start pushing had, and now. He hadn't steered me wrong, so I did. To this point, I hadn't cried out in pain, or screamed once. As I pushed that final time, I screamed. The pain seemed to split me in half. (I realize now that it was more of a release of all of the stress and frustration I had felt over the past hour or so coming out in that one symbolic scream. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself! :) )

Jason was in his mother's arms covered in blood, and staring at everyone around him. He wasn't crying, which made me nervous, but no one else seemed to care. I realized at that moment that something was wrong...but it was with me. I was told (or maybe they were telling DH...things were starting to get fuzzy) that I was getting a shot of Pit because I was bleeding heavily. I didn't even feel it...I saw it. I was told to push. I tried, but couldn't find the energy. I needed just a little break. DH again leaned into me, pushing me forward, held my hands and a little more forcefully told me to push. I started pushing. I knew it wasn't much...but I was trying. I don't remember a whole lot after that. I know I got another shot of Pit, and pushed a few more times. The placenta was delivered. I leaned back on hubby and the only thing I remember after that (for at least 20 or 30 minutes) was him holding me and telling me how amazing I was, and how proud he was of me. He held me there while we watched G & K fawn over their new son. I felt so content.

I was helped onto the bed, and laid there watching G nurse her son, while K cooed and grinned ear to ear. Hubby sat next to me holding my hand whispering affirmations and words of affection. I got to nurse little Jason for almost an hour. I'm shocked at how I feel about him. I just adore him...as though he were my nephew, or my best friend's baby. He and his parents hold a special place in my heart and always will. My husband, somehow, managed to get the picture I wanted. A picture of G mere seconds after the delivery of her son, grinning ear to ear. The picture makes me cry. The love in her eyes and joy on her face are the reason I did this. The emotions are so raw and so pure...nothing can compare.

I am home, resting comfortably now. I've fallen asleep twice while writing this. I guess it's time to take a nap. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I've never felt so proud of myself as I do today. Happy Memorial Day and Happy Birthday to Jason!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Interesting Night...

It's just after 230am. I woke up from a horrible nightmare, crying.

In my nightmare, I was strapped to a hospital bed. My husband was tied up in the corner of the room. My IPs were standing over me and there medical personnel everywhere. My IM asked the doctor how much longer before I had the baby. The doctor said he didn't know. She looked at her watch and then my IF said he had to get back to work. They then decided that it would be better to do a C-section and take the baby out so everyone can get on with their lives.

I woke up as they were cutting me.

I can only assume this dream was a result of the phone call I received around 4pm. G wanted to know how I was feeling and when I thought I might deliver. I told her I was currently at Walmart and hadn't started the pumping/walking cycle to help further induce labor. I told her with the way I was feeling it would be tomorrow morning at the earliest. She said that they were trying to decide whether K should go to work or not. He had a 5 hour drive one way to get to work, and was worried that if he went, he'd miss the delivery. She also seemed frustrated that I hadn't started the pumping/walking cycle. I don't think she understands that for one full cycle I'm stuck in the house, pumping for over an hour, then walking for 20 minutes, and lastly resting for at least 45 minutes looking and timing contractions.

I have four kids. My first obligation is to them. I had to get them from school, and get some last minute things for dinner. Once I did that, I came home and did a cycle.

I had some contractions, but nothing that would send me running for the birth center thinking I was in labor and ready to deliver. Instead, I went to bed.

Once I woke from the nightmare, I went to the bathroom. When I wiped, there it was...

BLOODY SHOW! This usually means that birth is within 24-48 hours! Hopefully my next post will be my birth story!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Quick Update

Did you know that your outer bag of waters could tear, leaking fluid, and then reseal itself?

I had no clue! So last night, when my water "broke" I was thrilled! It was ready. I called my midwife and my IPs and let them know what was going on. I had my instructions to rest, drink plenty of fluids and eat. When my contractions got stronger and so on, to come on in and we'd have a baby!

So I drank water as usual, ate my dinner, and after the kids went to bed, I went to bed. I woke up this morning still not having contractions...and no longer leaking fluid. I checked the towel I slept on again, and there was no fluid. I called my midwife and chatted with her. I chatted with my IPs and promised both I would let them know when things picked up.

Then about 15 minutes ago, when things still hadn't moved along, and I was starting to get nervous, I called my midwife to ask what I should do. This was when she told me that it sounded as though I just leaked some fluid and my bag of waters resealed itself.

So here's the course of action as of right now: First thing tomorrow morning, I'm going to the birth center and they're going to check me to see if my water fully broke, or if it's all good and sealed up (or whatever). Then they're going to strip my membranes, give me some herbs and start me on a pumping routine. The routine that my midwife told me about today (with the herbs and pumping) usually causes women to go into labor within a few hours after they start. Considering I'm dilated to about a 3 (almost 4) and 90% effaced, my body's ready and it shouldn't take too long!

So tomorrow or Tuesday and this little boy should be making his appearance! Cross your fingers and say a prayer. I could use it. (Especially for the patience to wait for labor to begin!)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

39 weeks...and I can't sleep

So here I am, 39 weeks! Can you believe it?!?! As I sit here, unable to sleep because the baby is moving and I'm having contractions, I look back on what a wild journey this has been.

I remember when I first met G & K. I met them at Fuddrucker's. I took my youngest with me, as my oldest three were in school. My husband was asleep, because he works third shift. I remember how awkward I felt, sitting there at the table, getting to know this couple and their youngest daughter. Once we had gotten past the initial hellos and really started talking, we realized how much we had in common and felt at ease with each other.

Within hours of getting home, I received an email saying they wanted to work with me. I was so excited because I wanted so bad to help this couple. I had "matched" with another couple and they just kind of dropped off the face of the earth. They quit responding to me, and wouldn't even respond with the agency...so that fact that G & K responded to me regularly and quickly was a wonderful change. Add to that the fact that they had been through a surrogacy before, and knew what to expect, made things even better.

Since then it's been a roller coaster ride. Our first cycle was canceled because the embryos didn't survive the thaw. Our second cycle worked perfectly and resulted in this pregnancy. It's so exciting to think that with someone else's egg, and someone else's sperm, I became pregnant with a beautiful child.

Well, I'm finally getting tired! Hopefully I can go to sleep and dream about going into labor...and maybe wake up in labor! *shrugs*

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Appointment with Midwife Today!

So I had an appointment with my midwife today. Not a whole lot has changed. I'm dilated to a 2, but can be easily stretched to a 3, and am 80% effaced. I asked her to strip my membranes and she did. She said my bag of waters is bulging. G, my IM, is hoping I go into labor in the next day or two. Sam, my midwife, says she expects to see me next week at my appointment.

Even so, I'm still having prodromal labor. Today's contractions have been pretty steady at 17 minutes apart. Over the past 2 hours or so, they've felt like cramps and my back has been aching. This, although annoying, is a good a sign. If they get stronger, or if they get closer together and last longer, I'm to call Sam immediately and go in to get checked.

Here's to hoping!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Contractions and Back Labor

Well, I've been having contractions on and off for a couple of weeks now. These are nothing like what I had with my last pregnancy. Those contractions actually sent me to the hospital three times in the last week. Maybe this time I'm just more cautious. I told hubby with my last two pregnancies I delivered in a hospital, so if I felt the need to go to labor and delivery, there were going to be nurses there...and they'd be there even if I didn't go. But this time, with delivering at a birthing center, I have to call the midwives, and have one of them come to the office...so if it's a false alarm, I've bothered them for no reason.

Because of that I have a checklist I go through. If I get through the entire checklist and am still having contractions, then I'll call the midwife. So if I have more then two contractions in 30 minutes, I:
  1. Sit down, and relax with a glass of water. I may surf the Internet or watch TV. If contractions continue, go to #2.
  2. I eat a snack...preferably something high in protein. If contractions continue, go to #3.
  3. Take a nap. If contractions continue...
  4. Go for a walk. If contractions continue, seriously start timing because I'm in real labor.
If I make it all the way through those four steps, yeah, it's go time. It's a matter of waiting for the contractions to get harder and closer together. Usually though by the time I even get to the nap phase, things have started to die down.

Last night I thought for sure was go time. I was having contractions every 7 minutes that lasted anywhere from 42 to 51 seconds. I got some lemon water (mmmm, lemon water!) and a granola bar. I rested and ate and drank. It didn't help. By 1230am I'm thinking I need to rest especially since it looks like I'm going to have a busy night ahead of me. I lay down on my left side and doze in and out of sleep. The last time I looked at the clock, it 2am. Next thing I know, my alarm is going off at 6am and I'm not having contractions. I was really tired though!

On top of that, I keep having horrible back pain. It comes and goes. The midwife has told me to sit on my birthing ball at home and that will help. Hubby's been making me sit on it off and on since she said that. Today, I was resting he again rubbed my hip and back and he dozed off.

He's been amazing through all of this. He's been so supportive. Even over the past week when I've needed more resting periods. He's gotten up from sleeping and made dinner so I didn't have to. He's the greatest.

Well, I'm getting tired. I'm going to go rest.