So I think I blogged about my OB abandoning me with some other OB I've never met. Well, last night we went on the tour of the hospital. Let's just say I wasn't impressed, and in fact was scared. My IPs also weren't very happy. For starters, to even get in the hospital, you have to submit to a search (a pat down, and searching your bags). There are at least two guards at the entrance to the hospital, but you may still have to wait a while to get in.
Secondly, the hospital just seemed dirty. There were lights out in the ceilings, the elevators hadn't been mopped in a while. It just wasn't very welcoming.
We finally got upstairs to the Labor and Delivery department and walked around for nearly 10 minutes in and around patients' rooms, wandering around the open nursery (where three newborns were left unattended) and then found the lactation consultant. We spoke with her briefly, and then met the guy for the tour. The guy who did the tour told me that he received an email saying that I would be bringing extra guests with me, so he knew why I had an entourage. Then he start the tour by telling us where to park, and that we were not to bring anything with us. He must have said at least four or five times "DO NOT bring an over night bag." Finally he takes us back to a delivery room. The room barely fits four people, let alone our group of "tourists". He then says that in this room we are only allowed to have two people. He looks right at me when he says this. I already knew that I wasn't going to be allowed to have my husband and IPs in there. My OB basically told me that I wasn't going to have anything I wanted. He then goes on to say that we are not allowed to have any video equipment or cameras until after the baby is born and the doctor okays it. This means I don't get the precious pictures of my IPs the moment the baby is born.
We then go over to the post partum room and he continues to explain about visitors and how only one person can stay with me, and how I'm going to be in the hospital for at least two to three days depending on the delivery. This means I don't get to go home within 12 hours to rest and recoup at home...this also means that half the time my hubby doesn't get to stay with me, because the IPs and their family will take those "visitors" spaces.
The guy completely ignored questions from my IPs and only answered my questions and hubby's questions. We left the tour and decided that we would try to find something else that would better for us. As we walked outside we noticed something was wrong with our car...someone had vomitted on our car.
So last night, during my inability to sleep, I decided to try to find a better place to deliver. I found a birthing center right across the street from the hospital we toured, and next door to the hospital I usually go to for emergencies and such. I called my insurance who told me that they cover any birth center that has a licensed nurse on staff. I was thrilled. I called the birthing center and spoke with someone who gave me all the information I needed, told me that the birth plan I had written up was standard care for them and would be honored fully. I was so happy. I gave her my insurance information and then emailed my IM to let her know what I had found.
I got a phone call about an hour later saying that my insurance wouldn't cover me. The birthing center was considered out of network and wasn't covered...even though they met all the criteria set forth in my plan. They gave me the price of pre-natal care, labor and delivery, and 6 week post partum check up, which was all cheaper then what a hospital would be...but I know my IPs can't afford to pay out of pocket for it. I started crying. Hubby decided to call the insurance to find out what birthing centers were covered. The lady at the insurance company tells hubby that there aren't any birth centers in a 50 mile radius that they cover. She quit searching after that, and told hubby to have me deliver at a hospital.
I've been crying since. I now have to deliver in some small room without everyone important to me there. I will be stuck in bed with constant monitoring, an IV and not allowed to move. I won't be allowed to eat or drink for the time I'm there. I've also been told, per the tour last night, that as soon as I go into labor, I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything else.
So basically, I get to deliver the way someone else wants me to. I get to be tied to a bed, and end up having to have an epidural because I can't move to deal with my pain. This also means that I get to deal with the back labor I always have. I get to have the epidural migraine for days after delivery that I always get. I get to be starved and poked and prodded...all for someone else's comfort. Someone is going to have to miss the birth...and I have to make that decision. Either leave my husband out, or leave the father of the baby out. I have to use stirrups instead of holding my own legs to be more comfortable. I guess at this point I need to keep my blinders on and just keep reminding myself that as long as my IPs get there baby, I should keep my mouth shut and just deal with it.