It's been just over a week since I gave birth. I've cried a couple of times, but mainly because I was in pain. I wish I had some friends who understood what I was going through. Then when I explain to them how I'm feeling they won't think less of me, or think something is wrong with me...they'll understand because they've been there.
But as Donkey said in Shrek:
Cause I'm all alone.
There's no one here beside me.
My problems have all gone,
there's no one to deride me.
But you gotta have friends -
I've had a couple of people say congratulations, and I wanted to say thank you to them. I'm very proud of what I have done. I don't know if I'll do it again. I'd love to, but at this point, having only family and close friends to support me, I'm not sure. None of them understand exactly what I'm going through because none of them have been in my shoes.
On a more positive, upbeat note, I've been pumping for baby Jason! It's so weird to have bottles around the house again! I pump into bottles most of the time, it's just easier, but sometimes I pump directly into the freezer bags. My right breast produces about 6-8oz in a sitting (usually), and my left breast...well, I'm having issues there. I can never seem to fully drain that side. It has become painful and I'm worried that I may have mastitis. I've taken the drops my midwife gave me in the event of mastitis a couple of times, and that seems to help it, so I'll stay on that, and continue pumping regularly. I have quite a bit of milk in my deep freezer. G and I will see each other on Friday and I'll give her everything I have. Hopefully it'll be enough to last the baby a couple of weeks till I see them again.
7 comments:
Hey Jenny, I think you are amazing. hang in there mama. I am no longer working at the birth center(Ill be blogging about my feelings on my blog wholisticmidwife.blogspot.com) but if you need someone to talk to you can call me anytime.my number is 512-738-1509.
Sam Evans LM CPM
Wholisticmidwife.com
Thanks for your comment. It hurts when you trust people and bend over backwards for them and they screw you over.
I am unsure of where to comment back to you so I thought I would put it here. send me your email.I am wholisticmidwife@yahoo.com
I just mean unethical as in making promises to me and asking me to give up my income and my house and everything else to go work for her. Than letting me go when its convenient for her, without a care about my well being. She is not just a business woman, she is a midwife. Her actions are very unbecoming a midwife. She did a similar thing with a client of mine years ago and I should have never trusted her.The mother was so upset she fired her! Turns out she did it to Alica Voss and Janet dirmeyer and the list goes on with about 10 people. Including her original partner in the birth center that she fired.But I am a forgiving woman and gave her the benefit of the doubt. NEVER again. And I want others, especially those that are thinking of working for her, to go into it with their eyes open. I don't want another midwife to be in the same position I and kids are in now. Plus they will have to come from out of town(like myself) as nobody I know will work with her. She has burned every bridge. SO sad. But she obviously doesn't care or learn from her past. Oh well.
I have moved on.
I will listen to your pain. I will just be present with you while you go through that pain. Or I will hold you and rock you and tell you "you ROCK!" Whatever you need. That is what a midwife does. I will always be that for you. lets stay in touch.
Sammy
Thank you so much for sharing your journey! I really enjoyed reading your blog and taught me a few things. I'm sorry the care at the end of the pregnancy was shoddy but you pulled through like the superwoman you really ARE (hey, I'm sure even Superwomen have to rest the day after giving birth!). Thanks again!
Maggie
disneymom from SMO
So if you had to tell someone who is considering surrogate motherhood would you say go for it or would you say run the other way?
It depends on a lot of factors. Do you have support from family and friends? Does being a surrogate fit your personality? Are you healthy enough to be a surrogate?
If you answer yes to the above questions, then go for it! It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I don't regret a minute of it, and am so proud of what has been accomplished.
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