Tuesday, July 20, 2010

How do I do it?

I was talking with a friend the other day who asked me how I could give away a child I had carried for nine months and not even show signs of post partum depression (which I had with my two).

I told her I learned a few things about myself having done this once, that I will probably take with me into the final weeks and days of this journey...and into the days after this little guy is born.

First, I am a strong woman.  I can do things I never thought were possible.  For instance, I can help another woman realize her dream of a complete family and do it with grace and dignity.

Secondly, postpartum depression is exasperated by exhaustion caused by getting up with a newborn every coule of hours.  Eliminate the newborn, and you may have only slight depression.  Occupy those days and hourse after delivery with affirmations of love from family and friends and what was once a crippling issue is no longer even a blip on the radar.  (At least for me...for other women, this may not be the case and for them, I urge them to seek professional help.)

Lastly, I have realized that by spending too much time with the infant after I have deliver would muddy the waters for me.  I think this is one of the main reasons why I left the birth center within two hours of delivering Jason.  This time around I don't know if it will be the same or not.  I can only assume that watching his mother and father cuddle him and beam in his presence will help as it did last time.  Now please don't mistake this as me wanting them to take child and leave as soon as he is born.  I'm simply saying I won't hold him for too long or spend time in the days after delivery holding him and cuddling him.  I've talked with my husband and midwife and said that if at anytime I become overwhelmed I will be excusing myself and going to my bedroom.  (I'll probably need a nap too, so that'll help some.)

Speaking of plans after delivery:  Since I had issues with bleeding last time, Kenny is planning on having a BBQ after I deliver in order to get some red meat in me.  He's going to make steaks (or hamburgers, depending on what I"m hungry for) and potatoes.  He figures at the least we'll be feeding the of us, my midwife, and my IPs.  (I doubt the kids will be home yet.)  It'll be nice being able to sit around and enjoy a meal in my own home with my friends before they leave.  I don't know if they'll want to, and that's ok.  I imagine they'll tired and want to head back to where they're staying to count fingers and toes and give lots of kisses!  (And of course nap while they still can!)

Well, it's almost 5am and I've finished my midnight snack and juice.  (Who would have though, just a few months ago, that I'd be eating!  I certainly hoped it, but I couldn't imagine it...that would have made me sick!)

I'm heading to bed!


Caidy and Gavin's Mommy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Caidy and Gavin's Mommy said...

I'm so glad I came across your blog! (I replied to this earlier, but something must of messed up..ha ha)
Anyway, I'm about 14 weeks along with a little Irish baby that's not mine!
I'm so happy to find someone that is going through the same thing as me! I know you're almost done, but I just thought it would be neat if we could read each others blogs! :D

Surrogate Mom said...

Comments need to be approved before they're visible. Thank you for following me! I look forward to hearing from you!

Caidy and Gavin's Mommy said...

Yea, sorry I noticed that after I posted the second time! Ha ha! I'll delete my first one! ;-)